Let the singles breathe, by Okwe Obi

Yesterday, April 26, was my birthday. For me, it was a moment of reflection about the highs and lows of life.

I wanted to celebrate my new age quietly. However, few of my friends got to know about it, probably because of Facebook notification. They celebrated with me, openly and privately.

I am eternally grateful for the felicitations.

Now, one of my friends who eulogised me on Facebook, was attacked by some people who felt that it was inappropriate for her, being single, to post pictures of a guy, who is not her boyfriend or husband on any social media platforms.

They contended that such a gesture would chase away prospective or potential suitors who would think she already has someone.

I get the drift. One of the attackers got engaged recently, at over 40 years. Probably, in her thinking, if she was not celebrating her male friends openly, she would have been married before the age of 25. Funny.

But I have a different perspective to this argument. Life is for the living. If I drop dead, these same people (married or single), would be the first to share my pictures on Facebook and WhatsApp, announcing my demise, and even pour unsolicited tributes and attributes of how ‘fantastic’ I was.

Also, I doubt if there is any universally acceptable formula in finding a suitor, because what applies to you, may not apply to me.

Some people met their spouses in controversial circumstances. While some met in churches, markets, social media platforms, schools, others met theirs in clubs.

It is at the discretion of the person wooed or approached to accept or not. It is unwise to discourage single people especially ladies from celebrating their friends, openly.

So, being a spinster does not mean you should walk on eggshells or conform to nauseating and archaic societal stereotypes or expectations.

Don’t suffocate them with your narrow-minded narrative about marital issues or how they can find suitors. Let them breathe.

Have you forgotten that God’s time is the best? Let me assume that you have forgotten. Well, I just reminded you.

Don’t get me wrong. It is good to get married at the ‘right age.’ I wonder what the ‘right age’ means.

By the way, how successful are the marriages of today? Every day we are inundated with cases of divorce, unfortunately so.

The sacrament of marriage that you are using to taunt or mock spinsters and bachelors has been bastardised by some bad eggs who failed flatly to imbibe the code of matrimonial ethics of peace, forgiveness, faithfulness, tolerance, selflessness and trust.

Are you not aware that most married men still go after married women? Are you not also aware that most single guys woo pregnant women and they accept? Don’t tell me it is for a ritual purpose. I have seen single ladies chasing married men.

Contrary to societal narrative, marriage does not make anybody responsible. A thief is a thief. A liar is a liar. A good person is a good person. Marriage does not change anybody. Most married people pretend to be responsible when they are not.

Let me submit. Most spinsters dread marriage because of the atrocities and escapades by married people.

Please, let the singles breathe.