How to choose a wife/husband, by Dr. Myles Munroe

In choosing a spouse, you must possess and check out for the presence of these 8 traits. They increase the chances of you both being able to live together successful

1. Adaptability
Notice that this is adaptability, not compatibility. Adaptability is a stronger trait for relationships that will work than compatibility. Compatibility focuses on how many things you have in common. It is necessary but there’ll still be differences between you.
Adaptability on the other hand is your ability to adjust to each other regardless of your differences. So the differences wouldn’t be a problem unlike the ones focusing on compatibility.

2. Empathy
Empathy is sensitivity to the needs, hurts, and desires of others—the ability to feel with them and experience the world from their perspective. Love and marriage are a relationship of meeting the needs of the other. If one or both of you aren’t sensitive to the needs of the other person, there’ll be so much dissatisfaction in the union.

3. Ability to work through problems
Claiming to be able to solve every problem is a lie. But a successful marriage is made up of a couple who has decided and remains committed to solving as many problems together as they can and finding their way around the ones they can’t. But you must never pretend problems don’t exist or neglect them.

4. Ability to give and receive love
This is especially important for males. Most females don’t have problems giving and receiving love. But males are pressured by society into believing they must remain tough and hide their emotional needs. While you both must give love, you must also receive love from the other person.

5. Emotional stability
This means being able to control your emotions and not let them run away from you. It means bridling your temper and not making excuses for immature emotional outbursts. This is a product of will more than skill. Everybody has power over their emotions if they are willing to tame them.

6. Ability to communicate
Communication can either destroy or strengthen any relationship. Intimacy and bonds are products of effective communication. So both the husband and the wife must understand to express their intentions and feelings to the other party in a way they’d fully understand. They must also know that males and females communicate differently

7. Similarities between the couples themselves
Every marriage involves the joining of two different people, but there should be some distinct similarities as well: common interests, common hobbies, a common faith, or similar political views for example. There needs to be some common meeting ground between the two.

8. Similar family background
Now, people with different backgrounds can have successful marriages but these traits are focusing on increasing the chances. People with similar family backgrounds will find it easier to get along with each other because there’ll be fewer things to adapt to.